Jimmy Fallon Repurposes Dave Letterman’s Top-10 List

“I love that guy,” Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon effused tonight of David Letterman — one night after Letterman announced he would retire next year. “It’s hard to imagine late-night TV without him, ’cause he revolutionized it. He made it what it is today. And, after I heard the news, I kind of started thinking about reasons why Letterman is retiring. … If you want, I could just read my Top 10.”
Top 10 Reasons Letterman Is Retiring:
10. Wants to quit while he’s still able to compete on Dancing With The Stars
9. Made millions selling crack to Rob Ford
8. Time slot was getting too “Jimmyesque”
7. He’s not retiring — he’s “consciously unhosting”
6. Stop! Hammock time! (“Well, some of them aren’t going to be great, guys,” Fallon said when audience reacted to that one with deafening silence.)
5. Hillary/Letterman 2016!
4: After 31 years, finally got through to the Obamacare website
3. One word: E-L-Oprah
2. Jay Leno needs a partner for next season’s Amazing Race
1. Jimmy Fallon is stealing his bits

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